Have you ever thought or said this out loud? Maybe even around your kids?! *gasp* Unfortunately, this is not an uncommon phrase. Many women struggle with this and I want to expose this lie. More than that, I want to show you how to overcome this insecurity!
My family and I have been walking to a little fast-casual Mexican place for dinner on Saturdays lately (kids eat free, ummmm YES PLEASE!🙌). We walk 1.2 miles to get there, eat dinner and head back home. It’s a super fun outing, even though the kids whine a little on the way home.🤷♀️ So here we are, making our trek back home, enjoying it (mostly) when that familiar voice in my head begins to ring out….
“I feel fat. Gosh, I feel SO FAT!”
I’m not… and I know I’m not, but that doesn’t stop the feeling and the voices that go on repeat. Here is how it usually goes for me… maybe you can relate:
In the past, when this thought pops in for a visit I would let her stay a while. She pulls up a chair, grabs a cup of coffee, gets comfy and starts to spew off all kinds of other lies.
She texts some other unwanted friends… you know the ones… jealousy, disgust, insecurity, anger…. to come on over too. Before I know it, I have an unlovely little pity party going on ALL IN MY HEAD!🤦♀️
All the while my husband is trying to figure out what on earth happened to my cheerful smile and playful eyes.
CUE THE FRUSTRATION!
Let me tell you exactly what happened… I let the lie that “I’m fat” come over, hang out, and take up all the space in my head. Then she invited disgust, insecurity, fear, anger, jealousy, sadness and past failures to come over and I LET THEM!
One single thought has caused this tailspin of negative emotions. Now my attitude stinks, I’m giving dirty looks to someone I absolutely adore (A.K.A. my husband) and I’m snapping at my sweet kids because let’s face it… I FEEL CRAPPY.
Well guess what?! NOT THIS TIME!
“Not this time” I told myself as we continued walking home. THIS TIME, I’m in control. Wanna know what I did?
I KICKED HER OUT!
YEP! I told this lie that her and her nasty friends weren’t welcome in my sacred space. This is who I invited over INSTEAD:
“I am a child of God, a beautiful and amazing creation. I am a wife, mom, daughter and friend. I am a speaker of life, light, grace, truth, love and beauty. I might HAVE fat on my body, but I AM NOT FAT.”
As quickly as I could, while watching 4 kids walking on a busy road, I took out my phone and jotted it down.
“THIS”, I thought to myself, “IS WHO I AM.”
And THIS is the “big secret” to overcoming insecurity!
So tell me!! Who are you letting in your sacred space? What narratives and dialogues do you have with yourself over and over again? Are they texting their friends to come over for a pity party time after time?
3 EASY STEPS TO HEALING
- STEP 1 – Recognize the lie and acknowledge its presence. You can’t fix something until you know it’s broken. Anxiety, depression, anger, etc are all signs that something is broken.
- STEP 2 – Kick it out! Yes, I mean this one. You have to speak this one out loud. That lie has to be told it does not hold power over you any longer.
- STEP 3 – Replace and repeat the truth. The only way to fully overcome the lies we tell ourselves is to replace it with a truth. We have to be ADAMANT and PERSISTENT with this truth. Every once in a while isn’t going to cut it. You will have to create new paths in your brain where the lie once was.
Confession, I’m not perfect at this… not at all… BUT I’m getting better at it. I’m learning, I’m growing and I’m doing. And you know what?